Ex-bfs

I have obsessed about failed relationships and what went wrong and "what if". I was in an emotionally abusive relationship that I kept going back and forth with him for 9 years. He would cheat & I would leave, then they would end and I was back for sex. We had an AWESOME sex life that I have never had with anyone before or since. We were a perfect match sexually, but man did he cheat and put me down in the real time.
We have both married now, we moved away from each other and now both have babies. I am happy for him, and finally he ended up with a girl I didn't know. I do believe that I would never be able to truly end things with him if we lived near each other. Now he may have finally grown up and would say no, but really I just want the good parts back. I have a terrible sex life now with my husband, and that is the last one I will have. Dang it. He is on my Facebook page as a friend for 2 reasons: 1 he plays the same games, 2 I can't let it go.
I dated my first long term relationship at start of college, got engaged, but he was an ASS to me and cheated terrible. He gave me STD from cheating, then played dumb about it, ran me thru the emotional angry rollercoaster. I finally decided I couldn't stay and called the wedding off 1 month before the day. He is now on my Facebook page and on his 3rd marriage and kids with a couple of them. I know that I really missed the bullet on this one, but still think "what if" when we chat.
I have a friendship with a handsome guy that I met on Yahoo about 7 years ago. I was the cougar and he was the hot young, muscular, smart guy. I wanted to stay with him for years. Sex was good, but I was intimidated by his looks, confidence, yet he never said or did anything to make me feel that way. We still stay in touch, but the way I left him was my choice, but a huge hard decision. He is a sex god kinda, and will do or try anything. We text each other and again we moved away from each other. I know I would cheat with him, bc sex is so bad now and he would Never Tell on me. He always has "side shows" and we flirt sexually thru text. He is awesome but just came around again after I was married. I think about two guys constantly and have them as friends so I can know their lives and who they know or what they do. It is a real problem, and I am sure bc my marriage is not what I hoped for or expected.